The dead year

The dead year
The time was wearing on with silence
The darkness grew thicker and greeted me gently
It was startling to listen to the clicks
of the clock on the wall
For some reason, I began to grow restive and fluster
I covered the face in my hands
deep in the painful meditation
The mere prospect of the coming new year sent shiver down into my spine
I have advanced one more step approaching
toward the inferno for the redemption.
I can see no more what the future would have in store for me
The more hopeless I get, the wiser I become
Maybe that is the full content of life itself
The last day when I am put in the grave
Haply I become the smarter than ever

What is life meant to me?
Am I predestined to be a good-for-nothing?
To what extent shall I endure before I fulfill the consummation?
I am too exhausted
and I am fed up with the toil of life
and the intrigues against each other
It suddenly occurred to me that
I had a great desire to find a peaceful place
Say, a remote and insular island, a barren desert,
the silvan retreat or an isolated villa
Where I can lay down my body and liberate and rest my soul or
Driving a plane aimlessly in the azure sky above an earth without a map
where on erath shall i belong?

The twilight penetrates through the curtain
Anyway I have to carry on but not for myself
It is the end of the dead year
I don’t expect that all the regrets and morose feelings
suspending to the coming year
All are supposed to dwell on the past and
be buried in the ash of the memories
Needless to worry about ,
nothing is worth fighting for ,nothing worth dying for
Let it be and come as you are….